Perspective - Coming Full Circle

It is after a while that I am returning to contribute to this blog, and what a major life transformation has occurred in this time frame. I would be dishonest if I did not acknowledge that the previous posts were directed outward, whereas the flavor of this post is more introspective. I have learned quite a few life lessons in the past few years and would like to share some of them here. 

Life is a culmination of experiences and the choices we make, no step of that journey is wasted, although, upon reflection, we learn some valuable lessons on how we could have handled certain situations better than we did. Talk about coming full circle to the point where we started: 

"We must not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began and to know the place for the first time". ~ T.S. Eliot 

I can honestly say that I have arrived where I began and am seeing the place for the first time! Often we have to look at life with new lenses to see the things we had been unable to see because familiarity obscured them from our view. Over the years we make compromises, and they lead us on paths we would not have followed had we stayed true to our values and principles. It is like being woken from a slumber, a lulling of the consciousness in the interest of keeping peace, in the name of expediency, then coming to the realization that you don't even know that person any more.

'Twas grief enough to think mankind 
All hollow servile insincere 
But worse to trust to my own mind 
And find the same corruption there 
~ Emily Bronte 

So, where do we start, and where do we end: this journey is a function of our conscious resolve to lead life from our core values, to experience the journey with new, mindful eyes, an open spirit and aware soul. Life is beautiful, once we learn to appreciate the bountiful gifts that are ours to claim if we allow ourselves to BE one with God rather that be constrained by the demands and expectations of the lesser beings. The journey to soulful spirituality is an exhilarating experience!

If it is to be, it is up to me!

Throughout my life I have been a person who is compassionate and kind to others but I have not always extended the same courtesy to myself. Over the past 10 years I have come to learn the hard way that:

"If it is to be, it is up to me", The Neal Whitten Group, Inc.

In 2006 I attended a keynote by Neal Whitten at the PMI North America Congress in Seattle, WA. That conference was my birthday gift to myself and it turned out to be a significant episode of SLIDING DOORS for me. I came back from the conference a different person! And I realized that this person and the life that I had been living prior were incompatible. Slowly but surely, I started taking ownership and responsibility for my life and even though I went through a lot of pain and aggravation in the process, I have never needed to regret those necessary stages of growth! Through the struggles with infertility, building a family, divorce, lay offs, I was able to emerge and rise like a Phoenix from the ashes of the past. So this is what it feels like to be a Phoenix, COOL!

My signature work professionally is "From Silos to Enterprise Project Management"! When I shared this presentation with Neal Whitten, he asked me what I wanted to do with it. At the time I did not understand the depth of that question, but now I do;-) I needed to build my life with it, not just write a paper, Mr. Whitten! 

Fork in the Road of Life

As we navigate our journey on the road of life, we sometimes come to a fork. The path we choose becomes a pivot that significantly shapes the rest of our life, and even our next journey, beyond life. As I was contemplating writing a post on this subject, I heard from a friend whose "Uncle Bob" passed away over the weekend; she was the one who held his hand and comforted him as his spirit left his body. She feels called to serve as people embrace death, something many people dread.

What makes us choose one path over the other? What would you do when faced with a "significant decision" that could potentially alter the course of your life? A few of such significant decisions are selecting the career to pursue, making a career change, whether to stay in your home town or move, whether to buy a house now or not, whether to get married to a certain person or not! In those moments we need to pause and reflect on the pros and cons of all the potential choices, and then make a conscious decision to choose the path that leads to a more courageous outcome.

When we take the road less traveled, it can also lead to rewards not many have found or partaken in, because they chose to follow precedent and convention instead of daring greatly. Taking the road less traveled, when faced with a fork in the road, can mean the difference between distinction and mediocrity. What spells stability for one may mean boredom for another. Choosing a path that resonates with your soul is more important than staying trapped in the fear of making the wrong choice. Any decision that you learn and grow from, is a significant milestone in the journey of life, so long as you continue to evolve, no step is wasted.

What makes you a "Trusted Adviser"?

"Trust is the confident reliance on someone when you are in a position of vulnerability.”

Dr. Robert F. Hurley

It is early Tuesday morning and you find yourself in a bind, who are you going to call? Is that person your spouse, boss, friend, business associate, child, or someone else? Ponder for a moment who your "GO TO PERSON" is when you need help. All of us hopefully have a few people we can call on, no matter what, and know that they will be there to help us solve the problem at hand, or, at the very least, offer a kind word or a shoulder to cry on, depending on the nature of the vulnerability. 

In business, small businesses in particular are run by sole proprietors, who don't have a team of advisers, often don't even have a formal Board of Directors, and they may not have any staff, either, that they can "bounce ideas off of". In those circumstances, it is increasingly important to network and surround yourself with people who you can trust and call on when you need to make an important business decision in a timely manner. A trusted adviser is someone you can call on knowing that you can rely on that advice in the time of need, someone you can be sure will be there to help you solve the problem at hand, brainstorming with you, exchange ideas and strategies, remind you of your own abilities and options, review the pros and cons of all options, and counsel you for the best course of action, and stand by you as you confidently move forward and produce the desired results. This is the person you can call on and be assured that they are invested in your success.

Many small businesses outsource their Payroll, Accounting, Human Resources, and other back office functions. However, you cannot always delegate or outsource when you need critical business advise, you need a relationship based on trust to know that the adviser understands you, your business as well as your constraints, and will offer their best counsel to help you achieve success. Make an effort to cultivate relationships that lead to connections who you can count on when in a position of vulnerability and challenge, so you can confidently chart your course through it. Can you be that person to someone in your network? What would prevent you from being so?

Developing a Personal Brand Through Social Networking

Social Networking is a concept which has taken the business world by storm in recent years, although it has always been the way most business gets done in the world! People do business with people they can relate to and trust. 

Check out the attached link for what constitutes social networking:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_networks 

I look at the social network as a constellation, a collection of stars in the galaxy! Every one of us knows a lot of people in their sphere of influence, the value is in "connecting the dots" on their horizon and leveraging them by offering and receiving value for the connection. 

LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, and some of the other social networking sites have become the common platform for professionals as well as people from all walks of life, and the primary means for communication in some cases. The concept of personal branding gains even more emphasis when you are talking about professional networking through LinkedIn and similar professional networking sites. It is your resume online, complete with references and recommendations - your digital footprint!

Use of digital media for networking may be a recent phenomenon in the 21st century but networking certainly is not. Connecting with people, developing long-term relationships, servant leadership, and value delivery are concepts that transcend the present time. They have always been the way business gets done around the world. It's not only what you know but who you know that matters~ If anything, they have been brought into sharper focus by the present market conditions, and in a shrinking pool, people stick with people they can trust to deliver!

So, how do you go about building a social network that offers value first? Simply by doing it, one meaningful relationship at a time. Take the time to put yourself in situations that expose you to other people, such as in professional or community organizations working towards a common cause is a good place to start. Volunteering your time and energy for a cause, offering knowledge and value to others, offering a helping hand, guiding someone to build their career, life, and image, listening with empathy, are all good ways of building your personal network as well as brand. "How are you known in the world?" The answer to this question is the key to your networking success, and defines your personal brand.

International Women's Day - Inspiring Woman

Who comes to mind as a source of inspiration when you think of International Women's Day and the women who have inspired you to become a better woman and have made a difference in your life? I would like to dedicate this post to a very special lady, who made a significant difference in my life, in what proved the be the last year of her life! Suzy Bell Raymond, born August 11, 1933, was an incredible lady, who touched my life in a very meaningful manner when she came into my life. She was born in Mexico and was a volunteer teacher at Lone Star College, Cy-Fair, for English as a Second Language. My Au-Pair Andrea was her student at  the college and they forged an unlikely bond and friendship, the benefits of which spilled over in my life and I had the good fortune of getting to befriend Mrs. Raymond in the process.

Before I go any further, I would like to say, I am thankful that Ms. Suzy came into my life at a time when I needed inspiration, when I needed to be reminded that life is beautiful and if there are any hardships, they are temporary and I have the capacity to overcome them with faith, grace and determination. She shared her love of life and wisdom so freely and beautifully, and inspired me to think that I want to be this alive and graceful when I get to 80! She was born in Mexico and came to US as a teenager, she was an incredible mother to four wonderful children and a grandmother and friend to all her grand kids. She was a teacher to thousands of students, and she taught them so much more than English!

So on this occasion, I would like to summarize some of my lessons learned from my interaction with Ms. Suzy:

1. Celebrate life, be joyful, spread cheer and sunshine wherever you go.
2. Always be thankful for all the blessings in life.
3. Family is not only blood, the best of relationships are the relations of the heart.
4. Live every day, and make it count, do not wish it away.
5. Know who you are, and believe in what you can become.
6. Always make your children your priority, they are the source of your greatest joy.
7. Share your love with those around you, and you will always be surrounded by love.
8. Being open and generous in spirit opens the gates of abundance for you.
9. Be present in the moment, take the time to live, not just pass through life.
10. Always tell those you love that you do, and show you care......

And when I visited her just days before she passed away, she was going through treatment for brain cancer, having fought her way against all odds to be home to celebrate her 80th birthday with her family and friends. She told me how much she enjoyed the times we had spent together and thanked me for stopping by, not once mentioning how miserable she felt going through all the ups and downs of life. She was an inspiration, a beacon of light, and a great role model, I hope I grow up to be like you, miss Suzy!

The Circle Of Life

"We must not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began and to know the place for the first time". ~ T.S. Eliot

Life is a journey to be savored, not a destination to arrive at; the learnings and lessons are in the process, not in the final "treasure to be found at a certain place". The journey of self discovery is the most poignant experience of our lives, if undertaken with sincerity, honesty and openness. We start our lives as babies, helpless and dependent on our parents for the smallest of our needs. As young adults most people struggle with their own identity and seek to establish their own place in life, often vowing to be different from their parents. Although apparently rooted in defiance, it is a healthy sign of independence that spurs us to take responsibility for charting our own course through life. 

Our perspective changes as we mature, and we realize that complete independence only gets us so far, and we learn to be interdependent with others through life. This is when we come full circle and realize that running from our past and heritage does not bring us fulfilment, as we are denying parts of our selves that are inalienable. With maturity and humility comes the desire to discover oneself as an integrated whole, rather than focus on separate pieces of ourselves. We learn to accept and embrace our past, present and future, and recognize that we are at a certain point in life because that is how we have shaped our life to be, both by virtue of our history, and our conscious acts of will.

"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." ~ Nelson Mandela