Personal Learning and Growth Curve

 

What do people and organizations learning and growing through proficiency have in common with a mild steel bar under tension? A lot, actually! A Learning Curve is the graphical representation of the relationship between how proficient some one is in a particular skill, against their experience over time. The Personal Learning and Growth curve of people and organizations mimics the stress-strain curve of a mild steel bar subjected to a tension test. 

The initial capacity of a steel bar to take on tensile stress (force per unit area) is high and has a steep Modulus of Elasticity, or slope of the curve. The steel is elastic in this initial range, and any tension it takes, and the corresponding strain (change in length per unit length) can be recovered fully once the source of tension is removed. This is similar to how a person or an organization grows very quickly and learns and absorbs new knowledge at a rapid pace in the early stages of life. However, there comes a time where the steel bar attains its Upper Yield Point (or upper yield strength) at which point it goes into a state of free fall with more strain and is left with permanent residual strain. There comes a point in the life of an individual or an organization when they reach a point of saturation and cannot learn or absorb any more knowledge in a linear fashion, a crisis occurs that diminishes their ability to learn or grow, and they are left with permanent scars (residual strain). Once the steel bar stabilizes in the yield zone and reaches the Lower Yield Pont (or lower yield strength) it is again able to take on more stress, however, it is at a much smaller gradient and with residual strain. If the force is removed at any point during this stage, the steel bar will have some permanent elongation left even after all stress is removed. 

Human beings are ductile (with the ability to absorb stresses of life) in a similar fashion, their ability to learn and grow, though seriously diminished after the yield zone or life crisis, still continues to grow till it peaks. At that point, if they do not reinvent themselves and start a new learning and growth curve, they will yield under the strain and break apart without a new force driving them into a new area of growth. The size of the curve decreases with every iteration, however, its shape and impact does not change! Would you like to grow with me?

Through the Lens of Time!

 

Recently I stumbled upon my first speech for the Toastmasters Club written twenty five years ago. I was invited to speak at an international conference in January 1996  with an audience of three to four hundred delegates. I had no public speaking experience at that point. Toastmasters was the organization that helps you develop public speaking skills, and that is who I turned to to hone my skills. Here is the text of that first speech:

"My Life, Hopes and Dreams" (Sarah Haider - Nov. 1995)

While getting ready to come to work this morning, I stood in front of the mirror and paused for a moment, I stared in the eyes of the person in the mirror. I could see my life, my hopes and aspirations, and where my dreams had led me over time. I have come a long way, strong in my belief that my dreams would come true, and working to make them a reality.

Being the second of four children, born in a middle-class Pakistani family, my dreams probably were out of context with the realities of my life. My parents gave us the values of honesty, morality, and respect for other human beings, but life for us growing up was a constant struggle for survival. Despite their financial hardships, my parents strove to provide us with the best of education. Growing up I read a story that made a great impact on my thought process.

Myth has it that there was a scholar in Persia who was very poor. He did not have the money to buy himself a pair of shoes, so he would walk to school barefoot through a busy thoroughfare. On his way he used to pass by a wine-maker's shop, and the shopkeeper would often make fun of his plight. He would say, "give me your books, I'll put them in a barrel in my cellar and let them ferment; after a few years you'll get some great tasting wine". 

The scholar ignored his mocking remarks and went on with his pursuit of knowledge. After several years he was recognized for his wisdom and appointed the Chief Advisor to the king of Persia. One day he happened to pass by the same wine shop and stopped to see the owner. He told him, "I put my books in a barrel as you advised and let it all ferment for years..... see what tasty wine I have got?"

When I was in my junior year of college and looking to apply to US schools for my Master's degree, my sister used to tell me that I was chasing wild dreams. There was no way I could afford even the plane ticket, let alone pay for tuition even if I did get admitted. But I went on believing in my dream and got an offer of admission with a fellowship, all expenses paid, from Rice University in Houston. I just never thought it was impossible!

Another thing that played an important role, and proved almost a turning point in my life was a quote that I encountered when I was seventeen:

"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life"   (Confucius)

Every time I read this quote it made me think of what I wanted to do for a living. I chose to be an engineer because I enjoyed building things and solving problems. I believed in seeking practical solutions and somehow being an engineer seemed to be the logical answer to fulfill this desire.

On the personal front as well, I have been a dreamer!

"The poor man is not he who is without a cent, but he who is without a dream"   (Harry Kemp).

In pursuing my dreams of a happy life, I have come across some harsh experiences as well. I have yet to find someone that I would like to share the rest of my life with: someone who shares my ideas and believes in my dreams. Perhaps I have been playing it too safe here but I cannot afford to take too many risks on this front.

As I look upon the future I want to see myself grow both personally and professionally. In another five years I want to be happily married, have children and have obtained my Professional Engineer license. I would also like to see myself move into a Project Management career path. Toastmasters is my launch pad for achieving the future goals I have set for myself. 

People are an important element in my life. Sharing is a crucial ingredient in my world. It is this spirit of working for the common good that prompted me to participate in teaching Sunday school at the local mosque, organizing community activities, and working with the Society of Women Engineers. 

"Giving and receiving are equal partners, each contributing joys to the human heart"   (Yours Truly)

Giving to others brings the satisfaction of knowing we have helped someone or made them happy. I am always eager to help, who knows that one kindness on my part may change the other person's life. Receiving brings its own joy in knowing that you are loved and someone cares about you to bring you a thoughtful gift or touches your heart with a kind gesture.

I feel I am quite satisfied with my life so far but still have a long way to go. I started off with the dream of making a difference in the world, however humble, and build a fulfilling life for me. I always hoped to get a good education, and wanted a career that I would be able to enjoy. Having achieved that I now want to broaden my horizons, focus on developing the person within to become a more sensitive, productive and a useful member of the community at large. Who knows where my dreams would lead me in another ten years, but right now I need to get real and work to make them come true.

It was fascinating to read this 25 years after I wrote it, and now reflecting on the hopes and dreams I had expressed half a lifetime ago! It is interesting to note that I have remained true to most of what I set out to achieve in life, some things took longer than 5 years, though. My motto in life has always been:

"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life" (Confucius)

On the professional front, it took me 6 years to get my Professional Engineer license and an MBA and 10 years to get to Project Management as a career. It took me another 10 years to learn that if I wanted such a job, I had to create it, no one was going to give it to me! After a 20 year career in Engineering, Project Management and Management Consulting, I took a sabbatical for life and pivoted to building bridges of the human variety, "Engineering a Cure for Hate". My work in the fields of adoption and foster care, and subsequently in the interfaith domain with the Sisterhood of Salaam Shalom, building bridges of understanding and waging peace, is where I find fulfillment and a strong sense of purpose. Incidentally, the two themes that have emerged in my life's work are faith and children, and building community is the way I serve my mission. 

On the personal front, in the 5 years following this writing, I did get married, but did not have children yet. That was another journey through infertility and adoption spread over the next seven years. Now, my children are 16 and 13, and I have grown step children who are every bit a part of my heart! So, you see, our hopes and dreams, our beliefs and values shape our life, and if we stay true to our mission, we can achieve the most meaningful results, even if the timing varies a bit due to external circumstances.

This is a poem I had written more than 30 years ago which has become the charter for my life, and I am very thankful that God has granted me the courage to make it happen!

IF GOD GIVES ME THE COURAGE

Where thoughts are policed,

Where people are sold

Just think this is the world,

That we live in. 

With hearts full of malice

We meet each other

Where flowers of duplicity

Bloom in abundance.

We lament of misfortune,

And do so frequently,

Incapable of any action

We keep blaming the world.

The shackles of slavery

Enslave our hearts

We fear the world

Suffering a thousand evils. 

I will create a better world

Than the one we have now

Wake others with my message

Of leadership for action.....

I will clear the hearts of jealousy

And sow the seeds of love!

I will change this misfortune

Through my own actions. 

... I will break down

The walls that separate,

With the love in my heart

If God grants me the courage,

I will accomplish the impossible!

Picture Credit: Nazli Chaudhry 

 

Perspective - Coming Full Circle

It is after a while that I am returning to contribute to this blog, and what a major life transformation has occurred in this time frame. I would be dishonest if I did not acknowledge that the previous posts were directed outward, whereas the flavor of this post is more introspective. I have learned quite a few life lessons in the past few years and would like to share some of them here. 

Life is a culmination of experiences and the choices we make, no step of that journey is wasted, although, upon reflection, we learn some valuable lessons on how we could have handled certain situations better than we did. Talk about coming full circle to the point where we started: 

"We must not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we began and to know the place for the first time". ~ T.S. Eliot 

I can honestly say that I have arrived where I began and am seeing the place for the first time! Often we have to look at life with new lenses to see the things we had been unable to see because familiarity obscured them from our view. Over the years we make compromises, and they lead us on paths we would not have followed had we stayed true to our values and principles. It is like being woken from a slumber, a lulling of the consciousness in the interest of keeping peace, in the name of expediency, then coming to the realization that you don't even know that person any more.

'Twas grief enough to think mankind 
All hollow servile insincere 
But worse to trust to my own mind 
And find the same corruption there 
~ Emily Bronte 

So, where do we start, and where do we end: this journey is a function of our conscious resolve to lead life from our core values, to experience the journey with new, mindful eyes, an open spirit and aware soul. Life is beautiful, once we learn to appreciate the bountiful gifts that are ours to claim if we allow ourselves to BE one with God rather that be constrained by the demands and expectations of the lesser beings. The journey to soulful spirituality is an exhilarating experience!

If it is to be, it is up to me!

Throughout my life I have been a person who is compassionate and kind to others but I have not always extended the same courtesy to myself. Over the past 10 years I have come to learn the hard way that:

"If it is to be, it is up to me", The Neal Whitten Group, Inc.

In 2006 I attended a keynote by Neal Whitten at the PMI North America Congress in Seattle, WA. That conference was my birthday gift to myself and it turned out to be a significant episode of SLIDING DOORS for me. I came back from the conference a different person! And I realized that this person and the life that I had been living prior were incompatible. Slowly but surely, I started taking ownership and responsibility for my life and even though I went through a lot of pain and aggravation in the process, I have never needed to regret those necessary stages of growth! Through the struggles with infertility, building a family, divorce, lay offs, I was able to emerge and rise like a Phoenix from the ashes of the past. So this is what it feels like to be a Phoenix, COOL!

My signature work professionally is "From Silos to Enterprise Project Management"! When I shared this presentation with Neal Whitten, he asked me what I wanted to do with it. At the time I did not understand the depth of that question, but now I do;-) I needed to build my life with it, not just write a paper, Mr. Whitten! 

Fork in the Road of Life

As we navigate our journey on the road of life, we sometimes come to a fork. The path we choose becomes a pivot that significantly shapes the rest of our life, and even our next journey, beyond life. As I was contemplating writing a post on this subject, I heard from a friend whose "Uncle Bob" passed away over the weekend; she was the one who held his hand and comforted him as his spirit left his body. She feels called to serve as people embrace death, something many people dread.

What makes us choose one path over the other? What would you do when faced with a "significant decision" that could potentially alter the course of your life? A few of such significant decisions are selecting the career to pursue, making a career change, whether to stay in your home town or move, whether to buy a house now or not, whether to get married to a certain person or not! In those moments we need to pause and reflect on the pros and cons of all the potential choices, and then make a conscious decision to choose the path that leads to a more courageous outcome.

When we take the road less traveled, it can also lead to rewards not many have found or partaken in, because they chose to follow precedent and convention instead of daring greatly. Taking the road less traveled, when faced with a fork in the road, can mean the difference between distinction and mediocrity. What spells stability for one may mean boredom for another. Choosing a path that resonates with your soul is more important than staying trapped in the fear of making the wrong choice. Any decision that you learn and grow from, is a significant milestone in the journey of life, so long as you continue to evolve, no step is wasted.

What makes you a "Trusted Adviser"?

"Trust is the confident reliance on someone when you are in a position of vulnerability.”

Dr. Robert F. Hurley

It is early Tuesday morning and you find yourself in a bind, who are you going to call? Is that person your spouse, boss, friend, business associate, child, or someone else? Ponder for a moment who your "GO TO PERSON" is when you need help. All of us hopefully have a few people we can call on, no matter what, and know that they will be there to help us solve the problem at hand, or, at the very least, offer a kind word or a shoulder to cry on, depending on the nature of the vulnerability. 

In business, small businesses in particular are run by sole proprietors, who don't have a team of advisers, often don't even have a formal Board of Directors, and they may not have any staff, either, that they can "bounce ideas off of". In those circumstances, it is increasingly important to network and surround yourself with people who you can trust and call on when you need to make an important business decision in a timely manner. A trusted adviser is someone you can call on knowing that you can rely on that advice in the time of need, someone you can be sure will be there to help you solve the problem at hand, brainstorming with you, exchange ideas and strategies, remind you of your own abilities and options, review the pros and cons of all options, and counsel you for the best course of action, and stand by you as you confidently move forward and produce the desired results. This is the person you can call on and be assured that they are invested in your success.

Many small businesses outsource their Payroll, Accounting, Human Resources, and other back office functions. However, you cannot always delegate or outsource when you need critical business advise, you need a relationship based on trust to know that the adviser understands you, your business as well as your constraints, and will offer their best counsel to help you achieve success. Make an effort to cultivate relationships that lead to connections who you can count on when in a position of vulnerability and challenge, so you can confidently chart your course through it. Can you be that person to someone in your network? What would prevent you from being so?

Developing a Personal Brand Through Social Networking

Social Networking is a concept which has taken the business world by storm in recent years, although it has always been the way most business gets done in the world! People do business with people they can relate to and trust. 

Check out the attached link for what constitutes social networking:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_networks 

I look at the social network as a constellation, a collection of stars in the galaxy! Every one of us knows a lot of people in their sphere of influence, the value is in "connecting the dots" on their horizon and leveraging them by offering and receiving value for the connection. 

LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, and some of the other social networking sites have become the common platform for professionals as well as people from all walks of life, and the primary means for communication in some cases. The concept of personal branding gains even more emphasis when you are talking about professional networking through LinkedIn and similar professional networking sites. It is your resume online, complete with references and recommendations - your digital footprint!

Use of digital media for networking may be a recent phenomenon in the 21st century but networking certainly is not. Connecting with people, developing long-term relationships, servant leadership, and value delivery are concepts that transcend the present time. They have always been the way business gets done around the world. It's not only what you know but who you know that matters~ If anything, they have been brought into sharper focus by the present market conditions, and in a shrinking pool, people stick with people they can trust to deliver!

So, how do you go about building a social network that offers value first? Simply by doing it, one meaningful relationship at a time. Take the time to put yourself in situations that expose you to other people, such as in professional or community organizations working towards a common cause is a good place to start. Volunteering your time and energy for a cause, offering knowledge and value to others, offering a helping hand, guiding someone to build their career, life, and image, listening with empathy, are all good ways of building your personal network as well as brand. "How are you known in the world?" The answer to this question is the key to your networking success, and defines your personal brand.