Recently I stumbled upon my first speech for the Toastmasters Club written twenty five years ago. I was invited to speak at an international conference in January 1996 with an audience of three to four hundred delegates. I had no public speaking experience at that point. Toastmasters was the organization that helps you develop public speaking skills, and that is who I turned to to hone my skills. Here is the text of that first speech:
"My Life, Hopes and Dreams" (Sarah Haider - Nov. 1995)
While getting ready to come to work this morning, I stood in front of the mirror and paused for a moment, I stared in the eyes of the person in the mirror. I could see my life, my hopes and aspirations, and where my dreams had led me over time. I have come a long way, strong in my belief that my dreams would come true, and working to make them a reality.
Being the second of four children, born in a middle-class Pakistani family, my dreams probably were out of context with the realities of my life. My parents gave us the values of honesty, morality, and respect for other human beings, but life for us growing up was a constant struggle for survival. Despite their financial hardships, my parents strove to provide us with the best of education. Growing up I read a story that made a great impact on my thought process.
Myth has it that there was a scholar in Persia who was very poor. He did not have the money to buy himself a pair of shoes, so he would walk to school barefoot through a busy thoroughfare. On his way he used to pass by a wine-maker's shop, and the shopkeeper would often make fun of his plight. He would say, "give me your books, I'll put them in a barrel in my cellar and let them ferment; after a few years you'll get some great tasting wine".
The scholar ignored his mocking remarks and went on with his pursuit of knowledge. After several years he was recognized for his wisdom and appointed the Chief Advisor to the king of Persia. One day he happened to pass by the same wine shop and stopped to see the owner. He told him, "I put my books in a barrel as you advised and let it all ferment for years..... see what tasty wine I have got?"
When I was in my junior year of college and looking to apply to US schools for my Master's degree, my sister used to tell me that I was chasing wild dreams. There was no way I could afford even the plane ticket, let alone pay for tuition even if I did get admitted. But I went on believing in my dream and got an offer of admission with a fellowship, all expenses paid, from Rice University in Houston. I just never thought it was impossible!
Another thing that played an important role, and proved almost a turning point in my life was a quote that I encountered when I was seventeen:
"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life" (Confucius)
Every time I read this quote it made me think of what I wanted to do for a living. I chose to be an engineer because I enjoyed building things and solving problems. I believed in seeking practical solutions and somehow being an engineer seemed to be the logical answer to fulfill this desire.
On the personal front as well, I have been a dreamer!
"The poor man is not he who is without a cent, but he who is without a dream" (Harry Kemp).
In pursuing my dreams of a happy life, I have come across some harsh experiences as well. I have yet to find someone that I would like to share the rest of my life with: someone who shares my ideas and believes in my dreams. Perhaps I have been playing it too safe here but I cannot afford to take too many risks on this front.
As I look upon the future I want to see myself grow both personally and professionally. In another five years I want to be happily married, have children and have obtained my Professional Engineer license. I would also like to see myself move into a Project Management career path. Toastmasters is my launch pad for achieving the future goals I have set for myself.
People are an important element in my life. Sharing is a crucial ingredient in my world. It is this spirit of working for the common good that prompted me to participate in teaching Sunday school at the local mosque, organizing community activities, and working with the Society of Women Engineers.
"Giving and receiving are equal partners, each contributing joys to the human heart" (Yours Truly)
Giving to others brings the satisfaction of knowing we have helped someone or made them happy. I am always eager to help, who knows that one kindness on my part may change the other person's life. Receiving brings its own joy in knowing that you are loved and someone cares about you to bring you a thoughtful gift or touches your heart with a kind gesture.
I feel I am quite satisfied with my life so far but still have a long way to go. I started off with the dream of making a difference in the world, however humble, and build a fulfilling life for me. I always hoped to get a good education, and wanted a career that I would be able to enjoy. Having achieved that I now want to broaden my horizons, focus on developing the person within to become a more sensitive, productive and a useful member of the community at large. Who knows where my dreams would lead me in another ten years, but right now I need to get real and work to make them come true.
It was fascinating to read this 25 years after I wrote it, and now reflecting on the hopes and dreams I had expressed half a lifetime ago! It is interesting to note that I have remained true to most of what I set out to achieve in life, some things took longer than 5 years, though. My motto in life has always been:
"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life" (Confucius)
On the professional front, it took me 6 years to get my Professional Engineer license and an MBA and 10 years to get to Project Management as a career. It took me another 10 years to learn that if I wanted such a job, I had to create it, no one was going to give it to me! After a 20 year career in Engineering, Project Management and Management Consulting, I took a sabbatical for life and pivoted to building bridges of the human variety, "Engineering a Cure for Hate". My work in the fields of adoption and foster care, and subsequently in the interfaith domain with the Sisterhood of Salaam Shalom, building bridges of understanding and waging peace, is where I find fulfillment and a strong sense of purpose. Incidentally, the two themes that have emerged in my life's work are faith and children, and building community is the way I serve my mission.
On the personal front, in the 5 years following this writing, I did get married, but did not have children yet. That was another journey through infertility and adoption spread over the next seven years. Now, my children are 16 and 13, and I have grown step children who are every bit a part of my heart! So, you see, our hopes and dreams, our beliefs and values shape our life, and if we stay true to our mission, we can achieve the most meaningful results, even if the timing varies a bit due to external circumstances.
This is a poem I had written more than 30 years ago which has become the charter for my life, and I am very thankful that God has granted me the courage to make it happen!
IF GOD GIVES ME THE COURAGE
Where thoughts are policed,Where people are soldJust think this is the world,That we live in.
With hearts full of maliceWe meet each otherWhere flowers of duplicityBloom in abundance.We lament of misfortune,And do so frequently,Incapable of any actionWe keep blaming the world.The shackles of slaveryEnslave our heartsWe fear the worldSuffering a thousand evils.
I will create a better worldThan the one we have nowWake others with my messageOf leadership for action.....I will clear the hearts of jealousyAnd sow the seeds of love!I will change this misfortuneThrough my own actions.
... I will break downThe walls that separate,With the love in my heartIf God grants me the courage,I will accomplish the impossible!
Picture Credit: Nazli Chaudhry
